Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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