the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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