i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this just has baby written all over it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
