i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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