do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize