do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Randomize
