He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
