Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
