i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
