the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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