all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
