when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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