love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
not ubering you a puppy
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
