The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
