in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
