Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
