You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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