woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
