We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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