He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
