btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh god it's open bar.
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