My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
