I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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