I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
