last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Blood and glitter go together right?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
