Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you win again, gameday.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
