i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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