We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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