Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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