If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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