So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
