I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
