4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My dad just said "fuck circus"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize