he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
