I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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