Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
