i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
