She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize