I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
