Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
