Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
