dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
