even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't turn off my feet"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
