READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
