He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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