if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
