Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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