can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
