then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
