real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
