i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
