So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
