Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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