So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize