Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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