so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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