She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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