Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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