This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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