Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
