Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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