so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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