Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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