You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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