Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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