oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just gift wrapped bread.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
