We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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